One year ago today.........

One year ago today, the day before my birthday, we received our referral of Brakston. Our coordinator worked all day to get the paperwork ready so she could call us before my birthday (it was on Saturday last year and the office is closed on the weekend). There's a part of me that can't believe it's been a year, but there's another part of me that feels like the year took forever. I did not realize until this summer, and even now as school has started and I'm back to work, just how depressed and unhappy I was last year. When Guatemala changed the laws mid-stream, there were a lot of days that I really didn't think Brakston would ever come home. The stress level was unbelievable and there were many days when I didn't get out of bed. I asked our psychologist friend why she didn't say something, and she said I wouldn't have believed at the time just how bad I really was.....I know she's right. I tried to pretend that everything was just fine, but inside, I was a wreck, and the funny thing, I didn't even tell Boomer how many bad things I had read on the internet, I just kept them to myself....I didn't want to stress him out too.

What a difference a year makes......I'm not even on blood pressure medicine anymore, and when I went to the doctor last week, it was 120/72, and that's with the start of school, Amazing what a baby can do. Since we were gone on vacation over his birthday, I've really taken some time the last few days, as the referral date came closer, to think about his birthmother, and thank and praise God that she made such a difficult and courageous decision to let someone else raise her baby, someone she didn't even know and would never meet. Brakston is the most precious gift in the world. I can't believe how happy he makes us, how much both Boomer and I smile now, and how much we love him. It seems like I waited a lifetime to become a mom, but the wait was so worth it. Life is good at the Taylor household.

So when you read this, say a prayer for Silvia, who was brave enough, and strong enough, to give up her son because she wanted a better life for him than she could provide.....I can't even imagine, but we're forever grateful.

Heidi

Brakston's new toy???

Boomer wouldn't tell me where he was going yesterday. I knew he went to pick something up, but he wouldn't tell me what is was.....when I came home from school today, I saw two new arcarde games in the garage. The one the two of them are plaing is "Cruisin' USA.' Brakston and Boomer played it while on vacation and Brakston loved it. So, I don't know who the game is for, Boomer, or Brakston??? Either way, it's just too cute!! I have two such handsome men, I'm so lucky!!

We survived our first day of daycare!!

I say "we" survived because it was hard on me too. I didn't want to leave him today. Since he didn't know what was going on, he didn't cry when we snuck out, but when I returned with his shoes 15 mintues later (who knew......it's a state regulation that they have to wear shoes over the age of 1), he was really crying, and he didn't even see me. He was SO excited when I picked him up at 3:00. I don't start work until Wednesday, but I have to move my office and I didn't want us both to start on the same day, so that's why he started today. I know tomorrow is going to be bad, he'll know what's going to happen. It's harder than I imagined. I just hope he'll understand that we're not leaving him too. He's been thru a lot, first he lost his birth mother, and then his foster family. I know he had to be scared today, and that just eats at me......but, I have to work, at least a little.

Here's a couple of pictures from his birthday party in French Lick last weekend, he had a good time, he's still scared of my dad, which is so awful, but I hope that if we make an effort to get down there more, he'll get used to him.

A day of firsts....

Well, today Brakston made his first attempt at finger painting and I made my first attempt at a cake. I've posted pictures. As soon as I get Boomer to upload his pictures, I'll post pictures from vacation and Brakston's first birthday in Virginia Beach. He really, really loved his giant cupcake from Aunt Erin and Uncle Gordon. He did a really good job eating almost all of it!!