One year ago today, the day before my birthday, we received our referral of Brakston. Our coordinator worked all day to get the paperwork ready so she could call us before my birthday (it was on Saturday last year and the office is closed on the weekend). There's a part of me that can't believe it's been a year, but there's another part of me that feels like the year took forever. I did not realize until this summer, and even now as school has started and I'm back to work, just how depressed and unhappy I was last year. When Guatemala changed the laws mid-stream, there were a lot of days that I really didn't think Brakston would ever come home. The stress level was unbelievable and there were many days when I didn't get out of bed. I asked our psychologist friend why she didn't say something, and she said I wouldn't have believed at the time just how bad I really was.....I know she's right. I tried to pretend that everything was just fine, but inside, I was a wreck, and the funny thing, I didn't even tell Boomer how many bad things I had read on the internet, I just kept them to myself....I didn't want to stress him out too.
What a difference a year makes......I'm not even on blood pressure medicine anymore, and when I went to the doctor last week, it was 120/72, and that's with the start of school, Amazing what a baby can do. Since we were gone on vacation over his birthday, I've really taken some time the last few days, as the referral date came closer, to think about his birthmother, and thank and praise God that she made such a difficult and courageous decision to let someone else raise her baby, someone she didn't even know and would never meet. Brakston is the most precious gift in the world. I can't believe how happy he makes us, how much both Boomer and I smile now, and how much we love him. It seems like I waited a lifetime to become a mom, but the wait was so worth it. Life is good at the Taylor household.
So when you read this, say a prayer for Silvia, who was brave enough, and strong enough, to give up her son because she wanted a better life for him than she could provide.....I can't even imagine, but we're forever grateful.
Heidi
2 comments:
Wow-it doesn't seem possible that it has been a year already! Of course, it doesn't seem possible that Ben is now 4 months old either. I'm so glad that you are happy and life is good with Brakston. Having a baby really does change everything-in a great way!
Wow buddy! I'm so glad you're here. I can't wait to see how awesome you will be thoroughout your life. I'm so blessed to have a nephew like you.
Love,
Uncle Chris
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